


True Love

by enterprisegurl2009



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-02 07:37:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4051780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enterprisegurl2009/pseuds/enterprisegurl2009
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk has a dilemma and doesn't want to tell Spock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :-) This is my first fanfic for Star Trek. Please be nice. I'm a new fan. I recently saw the movies and really liked them!

Bones walked through sickbay with a padd to study a report. He walked into his office and gasped in surprise.

 

“Damn it! You scared me!” exclaimed Bones. “Why are you here? Didn’t we talk about this earlier?”

 

Kirk was sitting at his desk. He was leaning over it and had his arms folded. Bones regretted yelling immediately because it was obvious how sad those baby blue eyes were. Either Kirk had either been cutting up onions, or he was crying again…

 

“Bones, I can’t do it,” Kirk said standing up. He tried to hide his tears but they started rolling down his cheeks. “I can’t.”

 

“Jim, you don’t know that.” Bones sighed and put his padd down. “Why are you so sure?”

 

“I can’t,” Kirk insisted. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.” He dropped his face in his hands, unable to hold back his tears.

 

“Cmere, kid,” Bones said and pulled him into a hug. He let Kirk cry on as he held him tight. “You have to tell him. You have to. As the father, he has the right to know.”

 

“What if he rejects me? And our baby?”

 

“He won’t. He can’t,” Bones assured.

 

“Bones, I wish this never happened,” Kirk said distantly and looked off across the room. His shirt was stained with teardrops. “I wish I could just die.”

 

“Don’t you EVER say that again! It’s not just about you anymore. In case you forgot, you have a child inside of you now!” Bones exclaimed. “And besides you’re my friend. I’ll tell Spock myself.”

 

“No!” Kirk cried and then bit his lip. He looked down at the floor in contemplation and got a new sense of courage. “I’ll tell him. This time I promise.”

 

“If I catch you here one more time crying, I’m telling him myself.”

 

“You don’t have to.”

 

Kirk took a long breath. Since he found out he was pregnant with Spock’s baby, he’d been so emotional and unable to cope with anything. He smiled. “I’ll see you later, Bones.”

 

“Stay out of trouble, Jim. And make sure you tell Spock.”

 

Kirk smiled in return and left sickbay. He walked down the hall and stood in front of Spock’s door. No matter how much he told himself he had to, he couldn’t get the strength to knock. Kirk felt dizzy and his vision was blurry from tears.

 

Spock would never want him. Never.

 

He sighed angry at himself for not being able to keep his word to Bones and began to walk away.

 

“Captain?”

 

Kirk froze in place. He looked up at Spock. “Oh hey Spock. Um, I gotta go.”

 

“Captain, why were you standing in front of my door?”

 

“I just lost my way,” Kirk lied with a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

 

“James.”

 

Kirk was shocked at the use of his full name and stopped in place. He held his breath.

 

“You are a bad liar,” Spock said and he stepped into his space. “You will come into my room and explain what you were doing here. Also your performance has been suffering over the last month and I’ll need to report to Starfleet if you don’t.”

 

“OKAY. Okay okay I’m coming,” said Kirk.

 

He followed Spock in his quarters.

 

“You can sit down, Captain,” Spock said. Kirk sat across from him where they used to play chess. They were both quiet.

 

“Will you please explain what is going on?” asked Spock. He was staring at Kirk and reading his every movement.

 

Kirk’s eyes shut. He felt the tears welling up again. He couldn’t believe he was actually in Spock’s room. He couldn’t believe they were actually going to have this conversation. It scared him. Spock’s reaction couldn’t be good at all. Damn, only one hookup because of sex pollen on some mission and now this.

 

“Captain,” Spock said watching Kirk bite his lip and then Kirk couldn’t contain himself anymore. His tears spilled and he grabbed his face.

 

“I’m sorry!” Kirk cried.

 

“Please tell me what is happening?” Spock asked.

 

“I’M PREGNANT!”

 

The room went to dead silence except for Kirk’s heaves.

 

“I’m pregnant and it’s yours, Spock!” he exclaimed helplessly and then stood. “So there! That’s why I’ve been moody recently. That’s why I haven’t wanted to play chess! Now you can tell me you hate me and that you’ll transfer. Now you can ruin my life!”

 

He began running to the door but Spock caught his arm.

 

“Is this true?” Spock asked as he looked into Kirk’s topaz eyes. He shook him. “Is it?!”

 

“Yes, it’s true,” Kirk admitted with a sniffle. “I wouldn’t lie about this. I’m carrying your baby.”

 

Spock grip tightened on Kirk’s arm. “You are carrying my baby,” he repeated.

 

“Yes. Now let me go! You’re hurting me!”

 

Kirk couldn’t believe what happened next.

 

“T’hy’la, I am so sorry.” Spock pulled Kirk into a tight hug. “I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

 

“Tell you?!” Kirk exclaimed, crying. “Why? So you could just ditch me or tell me to get rid of it?”

 

“T’hy’la, I would never ask this of you,” said Spock. He pressed a kiss to Kirk’s forehead. “I’m going to take care of you.”

 

“You will?” Kirk asked, hope in his eyes. This talk DEFINITELY wasn’t going the way he thought. He never dreamed that Spock would look at him this way. His look was so full of love.

 

“Yes, T’hy’la, yes.”

 

Kirk hugged Spock, unable to control his tears. “I’m so afraid, Spock. So afraid. Please hold me. Don’t ever let me go. I love you!”

 

“I’m so sorry you thought I wouldn’t be happy about our child. Of course I am.”

 

“So you want to keep it?” Kirk asked, rubbing his eyes. Spock wiped his tears with his sleeve.

 

“Of course, T’hy’la.”

 

“What is that?” Kirk asked. “Why do you keep calling me that?”

 

“It’s a Vulcan word,” explained Spock. “It can’t be directly translated but it’s used between lovers on my planet. As humans say “baby“ or “sweetheart” we say T’hy’la.”

 

“T’hy’la,” repeated Kirk. “I love the sound of it.”

 

“I love you,” said Spock. “And I want to be a good father to our daughter.”

 

“Daughter?”

 

“I just feel it. You will have a girl.”

 

Kirk smiled. His eyes were still full of tears. “I love you Spock.”

 

“I’m pleased. You’re very important to me,” Spock replied. “I have loved you for a very long time, my Ashayam. And I will love you for much longer than that.”

 

He pulled Kirk close and they kissed. Spock lifted Kirk up and carried him to his bed. They made love with new understanding and hope for the future. When Kirk woke up next to Spock, he thought, “Yeah. I could definitely get used to this. I definitely could.”


	2. My past my present my future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :-) This is chapter 2! I was sooo emotional writing this chapter! Kock is my true OTP!

“Dear Diary, it’s been awhile, where do I begin?” Kirk chewed on his pen. It was a long time since he wrote anything in this book he kept since he was young. It had the story of his life, lots of bad times and some good times. But mostly bad. This entry wouldn’t be sad though. He started writing.

 

“Well I guess I should start here. I’m pregnant. I’m currently two months along. It’s amazing but Spock. No, **t’hy’la** is taking great care of me. It seems the thing that would bring us together is the baby, otherwise we might have never hooked up. I really love him. He’s my one true love. Maybe I’m not so worthless after all because I think he loves me too. What I wrote before here might disagree with that opinion but…… Well, Diary, gotta go. I’ll try to write again sooner than last time…..”

 

The door swung open and Spock walked in.

 

“T’hy’la?” he asked.

 

“Yes?” Kirk asked and scrambled to hide his diary. He was so embarrassed that he was 30 and keeping one but it always helped him in the past.

 

“What is that?” Spock asked.

 

“What’s what?”

 

“That book you are holding, Jim.”

 

“This? Nothing.”

 

“T’hy’la…………….”

 

Spock walked forward and removed the book from Kirk.

 

“NO!” Kirk howled and lunged to get it back but Spock was holding it too high for him to reach due to their height difference.

 

“What is this?” Spock demanded again. What if this book held love letters from previous partners? Was that why Kirk was hiding it? Was Kirk cheating on him?

 

“Are you cheating on me?” demanded Spock when Kirk only tried harder to get the book.

 

“WHAT?!” yelled Kirk and he backed away. “Just what?!”

 

“Well?”

 

“How could you accuse me of this?!” Kirk cried.

 

“ **What is this book?!** ” shouted Spock.

 

“IT’S A DIARY OKAY!” Kirk shouted back, tears welling up in his eyes. How could Spock not trust him?! After all they’d been through. How could he not…… Maybe what he just wrote was wrong. Maybe he was still completely worthless as those pages confirmed………

 

“A diary?” Spock repeated.

 

“Yes, you asshole, a fucking diary. Are you happy now?!” Kirk replied with tears falling from his crystal blue eyes. “You won’t even let me keep my privacy. You don’t trust me. I’m carrying your baby and you don’t even...”

 

“T’hy’la, I am so sorry,” apologized Spock. “I thought..”

 

“Yeah well you THOUGHT wrong ok?” Kirk turned away and left the room. He needed to be alone.

 

Spock thought about following him but stopped. He sat on the edge of the bed, opened the book, and started reading.

 

“Dear Diary, hi! My name is Jim and my teacher gave you to me to write my thoughts in. I’m 8 years old now.....”

 

Spock couldn’t believe the words he was reading, but he kept reading them until he read them all. When he finished, he fought back his own tears.

 

=

 

Kirk was sitting on the observation deck all alone. It was quiet and no one else was around. He stared out the window. His eyes were red from crying and his cheeks hurt. It wasn’t really about Spock finding the diary, but though that did have something to do with it. It was more that he would never find love. He could never be trusted by anyone else and he couldn’t trust them either.

 

Kirk thought he could trust Spock. He thought Spock could love him and trust him too. But as usual, he was wrong. Just like all the stories of his life he wrote in that diary, that’s how his life would continue forever, always trying to love and be loved and ending up alone.

 

But this time was even worse. This time it was real love. And he had a baby involved.

 

The door opened. Kirk jumped to his feet and saw Spock walking to him slowly.

 

“Stay away from me!” he warned, backing up into the window.

 

Spock shook his head and kept approaching.

 

“I’ll hit you!” screamed Kirk and raised his hand. When Spock got close, he went to slap him but Spock only caught his wrist before he could.

 

“T’hy’la,” Spock said softly.

 

“LET ME GO! Haven’t you done enough!!!” Kirk shouted.

 

His angry expression turned to confusion when Spock brought his hand to his face and kissed it.

 

“I am so sorry, my t’hy’la.”

 

“You read it,” Kirk whispered in disbelief.

 

“I am so sorry.”

 

“You read it,” Kirk repeated, still in disbelief.

 

“Yes, t’hy’la. We must speak.”

 

“No.” Kirk whispered. “No.” He shook his head, his eyes filling up with more tears. He looked like a deer in headlights. After all this time, now someone else knew what he went through. Someone else knew what a waste of space he was. Someone else knew about how he was raped and used and broken and destroyed and unlovable and so unnecessary. That someone was Spock. And that hurt Kirk so badly.

 

“T’hy’la, come to me,” Spock said and pulled Kirk into a strong hug.

 

Kirk’s body was like a board in Spock’s arms. He didn’t hug back. “I am so sorry, t’hy’la. I had no idea. I hurt you badly tonight. I am so sorry.”

 

That was all it took. Kirk sobbed into Spock’s shoulder and Spock held him the entire time. It took such a long time before he finally calmed down. When he did, Spock kissed him.

 

“You don’t trust me, do you?” Kirk asked angrily.

 

“I do,” said Spock.

 

“You’re not judging me for the things you read in my diary?”

 

“T’hy’la, no. Not at all. It isn’t as you said pathetic to write in a diary. It’s an important part of healing. I was concerned that you stopped writing in it for a very long time after everything you’ve been through. Why did you not tell me this before? Did you think I would not accept you?”

 

“No one ever did,” said Kirk. “Why would you be any different.”

 

“Because you’re bearing my child.”

 

Kirk was silent for a long time after. When another tear rolled down his face, Spock wiped it.

 

“I love you, James Tiberius Kirk. And I trust you. What you wrote in that book about me was correct. I am in love with you and I will take care of you for the rest of your life. And our child.”

 

By this time, Kirk was in tears again.

 

“Which is why I must ask this question.”

 

Spock fell to one knee.

 

“James Kirk, will you marry me?”

 

Spock presented him a diamond ring.

 

Kirk gasped. A hand flew to his mouth and he started breathing hard. He was just about to talk when he fell forward and collapsed into Spock’s arms completely unconscious.

 

“T’hy’la?!! JIM!!!!!!!!!!!!”

**Author's Note:**

> So what did you think? Should I write chapter 2?


End file.
